have I really learned anything
after all of this time
spent in purgatory
with intentions of holding off on pleasing things
until I felt I was worthy
for it only seems to be
that I learned nothing
and missed out on everything
Banter
I’m a creep for you
I miss you and I have never met you
reach out and touch me
through wave lengths
between here and there
and everything in between
we connect
we share
we care
but I do not yet know you
draw strings
night is when i relax
when i think up all of the good thoughts
relentlessly, and unabashedly
it is at night
when i am able to be real
when i am able to use unsavory wording
when i am able to show a risque photo of me
only to
delete it all by morning
you are not better than anyone despite what your mother tells you.
and let them spite
hate me – all damned day & night
if that is what comforts their own self-loathing
maddening as it can be;
they can take their misplaced judgments
keep them sound, in lying, mirrored-lidded jars
I will fly free
comparable to a sunrise after the pillage
I will fly free
maybe only me, can love me
Creation and beauty, and the evil behind them
I write when I am anxious.
I manifest art when I feel hollow.
I never play a song without reliving old grievances.
I cannot gaze at you without the fear of losing.
brittle gum 