the ugliness I embrace

again and again

I revisit this place

it is familiar in every way

the touch of the wooded floors and furniture

the scent of metal

taste of chemical

dark light covers me

shaded thoughts ravage me

it is a war between what could be and what may be inevitable

so

I might as well

settle down

sink into a soft red couch

exhale the smoke

accept this life

my life

natural cruelty

 

failure

is a hooded figure waiting

after running three hundred miles

approach the finish line with expectant relief

failure grasps your hand without warning

scolds you

how dare you assume you were guaranteed?

then proceeds to push you back

to run the race again

tell me what

tell me what I want to hear

and dress it up in bows

tell me what I want to hear

things no one else would know

tell me I can do no wrong

and fill me up with pride

tell me why this world is flawed

let that one wrong slide

 

tell me what I want to hear

I’ll rid the waste with no appeal

eat four square meal

brand the cow

and walk the dog

slay the hog

if you would only just tell me

what I want to hear

 

please hurry

I am in such haste

the cows are coming home

we’ve got empty dinner plates

Sally’s teeth are falling out

and Benny’s cheques are bouncing

Timmy has run out of pills

bedridden Mother so demanding

so

 

tell me

tell me

tell me

please

 

if you want to save yourself

and everyone you love

you will tell me what I want to fucking hear

and all of the above