i wish i never met you

it took months to figure you out

beyond the rain and after the drought

 

I felt my pocket empty

in it when I reached

nothing but remains of your cliches

 

always took what you could

things I could not replace

you inhaled my space

drank my health

sank your teeth

sucked my wealth

 

these days i stumble upon you

by memory

i fight back

resisting charm

slow fast heartbeats

and i turn around

 

draw strings

night is when i relax

when i think up all of the good thoughts

relentlessly, and unabashedly

it is at night

when i am able to be real

when i am able to use unsavory wording

when i am able to show a risque photo of me

only to

delete it all by morning

what is appropriate

what is appropriate to write

on a blog

that you feel obliged

to write appropriately

such as

properly structured poetry and poise

 

I just want to say

that I am unbalanced

and that

I  don’t feel like getting  my hands dirty right now

with making art

so instead I make my mind dirty

writing the visceral moments from which tainted thoughts protrude rudely