tell me what

tell me what I want to hear

and dress it up in bows

tell me what I want to hear

things no one else would know

tell me I can do no wrong

and fill me up with pride

tell me why this world is flawed

let that one wrong slide

 

tell me what I want to hear

I’ll rid the waste with no appeal

eat four square meal

brand the cow

and walk the dog

slay the hog

if you would only just tell me

what I want to hear

 

please hurry

I am in such haste

the cows are coming home

we’ve got empty dinner plates

Sally’s teeth are falling out

and Benny’s cheques are bouncing

Timmy has run out of pills

bedridden Mother so demanding

so

 

tell me

tell me

tell me

please

 

if you want to save yourself

and everyone you love

you will tell me what I want to fucking hear

and all of the above

 

 

 

He

 

Picture-perfect sundial, spinning on a curve, away from the porch light, not catching time the way I want it to. Such a useless present from Mom on my 28th birthday.

He had bought me a silver necklace and the pajama set I’m wearing. I’m 30 now.

I pick up the sundial and spin it again. Glowing amber and blue, so subtle, the precursor to sunrise, begins to illuminate my surroundings. The haze hangs lovingly.

He said he would get the car tuned up for our upcoming road trip to Bill and Dessie’s wedding.

The sun is now peaking over the horizon of suburbia, glittering not only the grass, but windows of homes and cars, hurting my eyes as I shield my face.

I saw her name in his phone on Wednesday.

More minutes pass, slow and painful. The dichotomy of the neighbourhood waking up and I having not yet slept, pangs brutally in my temples and chest.

He stopped telling me he loved me.

The birds are snapping up the worms protruding from our green, liquid-dusted lawn. How cruel an outwardly beautiful life can be.

He said she was just a friend, just an intern at the office.

Hunger rumbles in my stomach but is quickly replaced with sickness. Replaced.

He went to a work function last night where there was fine dining, cocktail dresses, champagne, and power-point presentations.

Ms. Mary steps outside in her fuzzy, pink robe to retrieve her paper. She waves to me. I wave back and for some reason – this innocent transaction produces tears from my insignificant skull. I don’t allow these tears to fall, because that would make it real.

He didn’t come home last night.

 

 

Baited

I was captured

on a sunny day

with that sharp

sparkling line

The invitation cast

manipulation

My mouth may be hooked

yet I cannot help

to laugh along with you

For it was my own fault

I followed you to the shore

I wanted to know more

You showed me your feet

and danced on the beach

I was enticed

by the glow of the lights

But it was all for show

I didn’t know

and now

even though

you tore me apart

I sit here on display

as your trophy

polished and beautiful

but

gutless

and missing my spine

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