Pure

pure

Unadulterated panic

Born of my Brain and my

Body

I have been asleep for days

And also blindingly awake

I’ve been stuck in a mayhem of reality

And fiction

The fiction is what I want life to be

Reality is eating me from the outside in and back

Again

But when i need to awaken from this numb slumber of human denial

Pain isn’t obvious

I ferociously stand at the foot of my bed,

The frame of the doorway,

The pantry in the dark,

And pace in the quiet gloom of first world terror midst an entire worlds’ nightmare

I need to be pinched so I pour a drink

Sanity is more performing than ever

natural cruelty

 

failure

is a hooded figure waiting

after running three hundred miles

approach the finish line with expectant relief

failure grasps your hand without warning

scolds you

how dare you assume you were guaranteed?

then proceeds to push you back

to run the race again

tell me what

tell me what I want to hear

and dress it up in bows

tell me what I want to hear

things no one else would know

tell me I can do no wrong

and fill me up with pride

tell me why this world is flawed

let that one wrong slide

 

tell me what I want to hear

I’ll rid the waste with no appeal

eat four square meal

brand the cow

and walk the dog

slay the hog

if you would only just tell me

what I want to hear

 

please hurry

I am in such haste

the cows are coming home

we’ve got empty dinner plates

Sally’s teeth are falling out

and Benny’s cheques are bouncing

Timmy has run out of pills

bedridden Mother so demanding

so

 

tell me

tell me

tell me

please

 

if you want to save yourself

and everyone you love

you will tell me what I want to fucking hear

and all of the above