failure
is a hooded figure waiting
after running three hundred miles
approach the finish line with expectant relief
failure grasps your hand without warning
scolds you
how dare you assume you were guaranteed?
then proceeds to push you back
to run the race again
it took months to figure you out
beyond the rain and after the drought
I felt my pocket empty
in it when I reached
nothing but remains of your cliches
always took what you could
things I could not replace
you inhaled my space
drank my health
sank your teeth
sucked my wealth
these days i stumble upon you
by memory
i fight back
resisting charm
slow fast heartbeats
and i turn around
screaming
frustration
clawing
forgetting
sweating
unsure
misused & abused
loitering in ones’ own conscience
biting irony
sex is always on the table
when you’re making pretty sense
lay back down
calm
warmth
dread
dream deeply now
tell me what I want to hear
and dress it up in bows
tell me what I want to hear
things no one else would know
tell me I can do no wrong
and fill me up with pride
tell me why this world is flawed
let that one wrong slide
tell me what I want to hear
I’ll rid the waste with no appeal
eat four square meal
brand the cow
and walk the dog
slay the hog
if you would only just tell me
what I want to hear
please hurry
I am in such haste
the cows are coming home
we’ve got empty dinner plates
Sally’s teeth are falling out
and Benny’s cheques are bouncing
Timmy has run out of pills
bedridden Mother so demanding
so
tell me
tell me
tell me
please
if you want to save yourself
and everyone you love
you will tell me what I want to fucking hear
and all of the above
and let them spite
hate me – all damned day & night
if that is what comforts their own self-loathing
maddening as it can be;
they can take their misplaced judgments
keep them sound, in lying, mirrored-lidded jars
I will fly free
comparable to a sunrise after the pillage
I will fly free
maybe only me, can love me
brittle gum 